So now that you have all this delicious fucking rice, what the fuck are you gonna do with you?
Are you gonna be a basic bitch eat it plain as a side, or are you gonna spice shit up and do cool recipes with it?
Don’t answer that, of course you’re gonna do cool shit, because you’re not a dumb dumb.
So we’re gonna give you two examples of shit you can do with rice. This first one is pretty easy, it’s called onigiri and it’s the shit cool anime kids eat when they’re sitting on rooftops and talking about their feelings.
We’re gonna make this shit, we’re gonna make allllll kinds of this shit, it’s gonna be fucking beautiful, like a magical rainbow maid of rice and various fillings.
(servings: your mother)
1) So first off, we need to discuss the fillings you can use, here’s a pretty basic list of shit that people use as a filling for their balls of rice:
- tuna and mayo
- leftover curry
- Umeboshi (dried japanese plum)
- egg and mayo
- egg and ketchup
- salted salmon roe
- salted cod roe
So yeah, those are your fillings. Pick some shit that you wanna stuff in your rice and then we’ll get to decide whether you want your onigiri rice plain, or turned into sushi rice.
2) If you want your rice plain, THEN SKIP THIS STEP AND GO STRAIGHT TO to number 3. Get that shit done so we can get to work on the assembly, if you DO want your rice sushified, you’re gonna have to follow the steps here:
Ingredients for Sushi Rice*:
- 1 Tbsp rice vinegar
- 1 Tbsp sugar
- 1/2 Tbsp salt
*depending on how much rice you’re using, you may have to change the measurements of these ingredients. If you cooked 1 cup of rice, then this amount will be fine, but any more will require more and any less will require you reduce the measurements.
- Put rice vinegar, sugar and salt in a bowl and whisk until they’re fully combined. Microwave for about 30 to 40 seconds.
- Assuming you’re using the entire pot of rice you made in this recipe, take that entire pot of rice and put it in a large wooden or glass mixing bowl.
- Add the vinegar mixture and fold thoroughly to ensure that almost all of the rice is fully coated with the mixture.
- Before using this rice for the onigiri, allow it to cool to room temperature.
Dang, that was easy, now for assembling this shit.
3) Assembling the Onigiri
- the filling(s) you chose
- dried seaweed
- fill a small bowl with water so you can wet your hands while using the rice (the rice will stick to your hands otherwise and that’s gross) ((((like real talk you’re gonna be reading some random ass online doujinshi of those two character who should be together but aren’t because I don’t even know why (coughs Shun and Yuuta from Kimi to Boku coughs) and all of a sudden bam there’s rice on the keyboard, and your computer just explodes because idk it’s allergic to rice whatever. And who do you have to blame? only yourself you sick, sick, human being.)))))
- Scoop some rice with a spoon or a scooper and place it on a cutting board or a sheet of wax paper.
- Mold the rice into whatever shape you want. Make a crater in that shape, deep enough for you to put your filling in.
- Once you added your filling, place some rice on top and make sure that the onigiri is compact enough for none of the filling to fall out.
- Proceed to wrap the onigiri with the seaweed. People get creative with how much they choose to wrap it, so like, idk have fun i guess. It’s your life, I don’t own you.
AND FUCKING BAM
YOU MADE YOURSELF SOME DELICIOUS FUCKIN ONIGIRI
Now that you can actually make a rice dish that isn’t just a plain fucking bowl of rice, maybe senpai will finally notice you!!!!
lmao but nah i doubt it senpai notices no one
have fun making bentos for you and your Levi body pillow, nerds